Have you ever picked up one of those glossy travel brochures that show a perfect family bonding together as they frolic along the crystal clear waters of an exotic Caribbean island? Do you ever feel that your own family vacations often seem to fall short?

Despite our best intentions, family vacations can sometimes be less than perfect. Tired of hearing your teen (or spouse) complain about visiting yet another museum, frustrated your 4-year-old’s afternoon meltdowns are beginning to happen at 10 am?

While every family is indeed different, you can take some simple steps to help avoid some of the frustration from past family vacations. The key is to get everyone involved, right from the travel planning stage. In my family, my husband and I are planners, so from an early age we encouraged our ten-year old daughter to actively participate in planning our vacations. Some families even solicit input from all family members on the vacation destination itself though travel budgets and vacation schedules will need to prevail.

After selecting your vacation destination, whether it is Tuscany or Disneyland, start with a family meeting. Present everyone with dates of the vacation. Print out a list of related websites and collect brochures or travel guides to help in your planning. Talk about the destination and what everyone might like to do. Planning a beach vacation? Perhaps your son wants to learn how to scuba dive and your youngest daughter how to snorkel.

The next step is to solicit activity ideas from everyone. Visit your local bookstore or library together for maps and travel guides about the location. For younger kids, do some research ahead of time and find picture books about the destinations, local customs or stories. One of our favorite series is by Miroslav Sasek which includes books like “This is New York,” This is London,” This is Paris” and more. In fact, we try to surprise our daughter with a book about our next vacation to get her excited about the trip. Check out destination websites for suggestions on what to do with your kids. Leading travel guides now offer kid specific travel guides for a number of destinations and most general travel guides also feature sections about traveling with kids. Many destinations even offer specific kid-related tours like guided Ghost Walks in Savannah or a Harry Potter Tour of London. Depending on the age of your children, you may want to do a bit of vetting first before encouraging them to create their wish list for budgeting and timing purposes.

Encourage everyone in your family to make a list of two to four things they personally would like to do on the trip. My husband and I also make a short list of things we feel that we shouldn’t miss. Each destination has a “must see” list. Use it as a general guide, but definitely integrate at least one to two ideas from each family member, even if it means splitting up a couple of mornings or afternoons. For example, on a recent trip to London we highlighted a couple of museums including the Tate Modern and the British Museum. My husband’s list included the V&A as they had a special Modernism exhibit running during our visit. The trick to museums is not trying to see it all, but rather select one or two exhibits that might appeal to all and turn the visit into a scavenger hunt. Leave plenty of time to be spontaneous as well. In London, we couldn’t resist a tube stop at Abbey Road for a stroll across the famous crosswalk in honor of the Beatles. In fact, some of our favorite travel memories aren’t necessarily the famous museums or tourist sites, but rather the impromptu carousel rides in Paris or picnic on the grassy lawn of the Tower of Pisa.

After compiling your family wish list with everyone’s input, pull out a map and roughly plot out what sites are nearby so that you can block out each day with one to two activities from the list. Enlist older kids to help find attractions on the map and figure out the easiest public transportation or quickest travel routes. This is a good time to check hours of operation so that you don’t plan to visit a site when it might be closed. Make sure to plan plenty of free time to explore, feed the pigeons, toss coins in the fountains, shop for inexpensive souvenirs and, of course, enjoy local treats. Few parents traveling throughout Italy with children of any age haven’t resorted to the “Honey, one more church and then we’ll get some gelato” promise. Luckily delicious local treats abound throughout the world. A number of years ago I happily spent many 100 yen coins while in Japan on cans of hot coffee sold in ubiquitous vending machines.

Before your trip, give each child an inexpensive travel backpack or messenger bag. Include a small scrapbook or journal. Pack in some colored pencils or crayons, glue stick or small roll of scotch tape, though you’ll want to pack a pair of small scissors in your checked luggage if you are traveling by air. Have your children start working on the scrapbook or journal on the first day of the trip. They can add boarding passes and draw pictures of the plane, airport and or draw a map. Kids naturally like to collect things, so encourage them to add those brochures, maps, ticket stubs and more - everything that can be taped or glued on to the scrapbook. Bring the scrapbook/journal along to dinner each night to keep the kids occupied. I find that if you collect everything for the scrapbook to work on after you get home, the book rarely gets completed. Encourage your kids to work on scrapbook during your vacation, but don’t worry if your kids lose interest after the first couple of days, at least the scrapbook will be started. Then when you return home, you can always print out some photos to add.

Balance is important for everyone’s sanity. Make sure your kids get to do at least one thing they want to do every day on your trip, even if it is just riding a double Decker bus. Keep a couple of hours free every day for naps and playtime, everyone needs it. Even if you want to squeeze every hour into your vacation, the rest of your family will start revolting by the third day. Remember to keep the kids involved throughout. Let kids pick out or assign roles of trip photographer, translator, map reader or tour guide for each day. Most importantly be flexible and have a sense of humor. Keep everyone involved if plans change, no one likes surprises, especially on vacation. After you return home, plan a vacation family night. Create a slide show of trip photos and have everyone share their favorite memory – whether good, funny or bad. This is a great time to get ideas about your next family adventure! Life is rarely like the photos in travel brochures – sometimes, if you’re lucky, it can even be better.

Six tips for planning your next family vacation

1. Research destination together as a family. Rent a movie, find guide books from the library or bookstore and visit tourist board websites for general information.
2. Create a family “wish list.” Have each family member select several places or activities they want to do on the trip. No guarantees, but try to accommodate at least one activity per person.
3. Plot out a rough plan to maximize location and energy levels. Plan for one cultural or historic site in the morning and something fun and active every afternoon.
4. Give each child their own travel backpack including a scrapbook, supplies and a small allowance for spending money. Encourage them to save up for their trip.
5. Keep everyone involved throughout the trip. Assign or let kids pick out daily travel jobs: photographer, translator, map reader, new foods recipe collector, whatever interests your family.
6. Celebrate your family adventure with evening of stories and slide show of your kids’ favorite photos.