Empathy: The ability to identify with and experience the vicarious feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person.

This can be a huge benefit when we're persuading.

Here's an exercise to really help you get into the affluent mindset of your clients...

It's all about understanding and responding to their experiences. You may have heard of another powerful technique like this where you metaphorically 'jump' into them. Here, we are instead going to experience them.

And when you do this, you build up in your prospects and clients a huge amount of trust. Rapport is right around the corner.

This comes naturally with loved ones--friends, family, spouse--because we know and understand them deeply. By using empathy with your prospects, people you maybe don't know very well, this rapport and insight will come just as naturally.

For this exercise you'll need a partner. Here's the set up:

It's this simple: Ask your role play partner to think of something. A book. A friend. An experience. A news story. Whatever. This thought will be called 'A'. As they think this thought, really notice their physicality. What does their body look like? How is their posture? Notice their breathing and their muscle tension. What kind of gestures are going along with this thought? As they think of 'A', you'll take a mental snapshot of them. This is how they represent 'A'.

Next, have them break state by looking around the room and naming three things they see. (This is just to get their mind off of 'A' and to revert back to their normal state.)

The next step is to have them think of something entirely different--not opposite, just different--and call this thought 'B'.

[NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of the opposite may make it easier, but I encourage you to develop your skills and not use something opposite once you've got the hang of it.]

Have them break this state.

Here's where things get interesting. Have them think of either 'A' or 'B'. They're not supposed to tell you which, but you are to figure this out by looking at their expressions, their snapshot.

Once you've done this enough times, switch roles and let them enjoy the experience of being able to tell what you're thinking. You can begin to really know the people you deal with regularly.

Now you don't practice this with your prospects. You're not going to sit down with them and say, "okay, now let's practice a persuasion technique..." You practice this with the people you know well, so that you can fine-tune your observation skills.

After a while, you will begin to recognize the smallest state changes in others as you converse with them. When they speak about certain topics, give you certain answers, you will actually experience them and they will feel it too.

Although they will not be able to pin point the feeling they get, they will feel connected to you.

So what's the value in this? Certainly it's a fast and effective way to gain rapport. It also puts the person in a state of feeling understood.

You can also use this to determine if someone's lying to you.

Say you have a prospective client, you're a financial adviser, and you ask them how their finances are. Well, they may say they're "great" but their body language says differently. These verbal and nonverbal clues give away the prospect's real situation.

You can use other persuasive strategies to get this prospect to open up about their financial situation. And once you do that, you gain even more rapport, you get to the heart of their problem, and you can immediately introduce yourself and your service as the solution to their problem.