In my job, I've helped a lot of people quit smoking. And I've heard a lot of reasons why smoking is a good thing.

I've been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel "better". (I always ask "better than what"?)

You don't believe these reasons. Not really. If you did, you wouldn't also want to quit smoking. Right? Actually you CAN have it both ways. You can believe your reasons to smoke at the same time you don't believe them. It is the difference between 'knowing' something and 'feeling' something.

You do have a strong reason to keep smoking or you would have quit by now. Just so you know, there are not any laws stating your reason to keep smoking needs to make any sense. It rarely does.

Almost all of the reasons you continue smoking can easily be proven wrong. Example: Maybe smoking helps you relax during work breaks because you get away and go outside to do it.

And most of the time you're AWARE it doesn't make sense. That doesn't change anything though, does it? Just one more log to toss on the fire of your motivation to quit. A fire that doesn't have much chance against the ocean of your craving to smoke.

There are two important sides to this. The feeling that smoking will make you feel better and, the feeling you want to feel better than. That's what needs to be changed.

If you're too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you're leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever...) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that's where your mind takes you.

This is simple explanation of a craving. Some smokers have more than one type of craving, the 'first thing in the morning' craving might feel different than the 'on the phone' craving.

So how to help this situation? I can spend a few articles explaining it (and I have, look for them) But, it comes down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.

First, the bad feeling needs to be helped. If it's about stress, get it managed, if it's a difficult situation, do what you can to take care of it or get some help. If it's a bad feeling you get that is beyond what the situation deserves, behavior modification might be what you need.

Second, the 'looking to feel better' side of things needs to be updated. (it's common that this is about mistaken beliefs, formed when young, that smoking is about being an adult, in control, strong willed, independent, etc...) Of course, a cigarette is only leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling is the emotions your mind has attached to this action. It could just as easily be ice cream or cookies that your mind has attached good feelings with.

And that's the trick. Quit smoking is mainly about modifying behavior. That's why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with the medication.