Separation - what to do now?
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Separation - what to do now?
By: James Walsh

If the couples are mentally healthy, they might soon begin to heal, accepting what has happened and getting on with their life. They sooner become open to new relationships, perhaps even seeking them out. On the other hand, if a person has a weaker mental tolerance they may be unable to accept what has happened and move on with their life, they should probably look for help. Separation is often associated with heart-wrenching emotions, unspeakable sadness, anxiety, depression and the loss of one’s hopes, dreams and lifestyle.
Apart from the emotional problems faced by individuals, children are the next source of anguish faced by separating parents; coping with children after separation is a difficult task, which divorcing couples encounter. Children can react in different ways to separation and divorce; the way they react depends on a number of issues, including their age at the time and the degree of conflict or animosity between parents. This is a stressful period for the children, but most recover and end up leading normal lives. They may have been unaware of the problems their parents were having and may feel shocked and confused when the separation occurs. Their adjustment is enhanced when parents remain sensitive to their needs.

Divorcing couples also face financial problems after the separation. For instance, divorce leads to the creation of two households rather than one, with consequent increased costs. All parties suffer these effects. There are also significant societal costs to divorce.

Women often financially suffer as a result of divorce due to their lower earning potential and to their greater historical role in rearing children, and there may be some relationship between these two factors. They more often obtain exclusive custody of children after the divorce, reducing their ability to pursue high-paying employment. Child support collection can be quite difficult; some fathers feel that they only have an obligation towards their children and not their mother (who may have initiated an unwanted divorce). Some fathers may not want to meet their obligation towards their children, and others, while intending to meet their obligation may not be able to fulfill it.

Men are also often victims of divorce, both financially and in other ways. Court-ordered alimony and child support can be financially crippling, often pegged to large percentages of the higher-earning spouse's income. Such obligations can make it impossible for paying spouses to remarry, and if they do remarry, the law often puts the payer’s prior obligations before his and his new family's needs.

Another significant financial implication of divorce is the actual cost of the divorce itself. The financial reality of divorce is often hard to comprehend; the same resources must now support almost twice the expenses. Attorney’s fees are often an extreme hardship at a time when the divorcing couples, begins to incur expenses far in excess of half of the budget incurred during the marriage.

Unfortunately, the prevailing system encourages us to take action in divorces based on how we feel when we are at the bottom of the emotional roller coaster, when we are most gripped by anxiety, fear, grief, guilt, and shame. As a result, people are encouraged to make shortsighted choices based on emotional reactions that do not take into account anyone's long-term best interests. The resulting ‘bad divorces’ harm everyone and serve no one well. They are very costly; they fail to plan intelligently for the future; and they inflict psychological scars on both the adults and the children. Separating? Then start planning now!

For more information please visit http://www.separation-agreement.co.uk

 

Article Source: http://www.articles4free.com

James Walsh - www.separation-agreement.co.uk

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