In a rut? Grumbling about all the nonsense in your life? Switch to decaf and lighten up a bit. Easier said then done, eh? Well, give these jokes and quotes a read. They should do the trick.

1. Rodney Dangerfield - I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

2. Paul Ehrlich - To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

3. Steven Wright - Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

4. Henny Youngman - A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

5. Dave Attell - You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike

6. Steven Wright - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

7. Rodney Dangerfield - My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

8. George Bush - Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.

9. Groucho Marx - She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

10. Steven Wright - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Jerry Seinfield - Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

12. Jay Leno - Al Gore has found a new job - teach journalism at Columbia University. Ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.

13. George Bush - The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany.

14. Rodney Dangerfield - I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

15. Rodney Dangerfield - My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

At the end of the day, we all usually need a good laugh. Hopefully, the above quotes and jokes provided it. If not, there are tons of sites with them, so get to clicking!