Q. How do I choose a lawyer to handle my case?

A. Before you hire a lawyer to take on a divorce case, be sure to ask them the following questions?

--What law school did you attend?

--Do you know my soon to be ex-spouse? Do you know their lawyer?

- How many divorce cases have you handled thus far, and how many went to trial?

- What type of cases have you handled, in terms of things such as custody disputes, or financial settlements?

- Do you have any large, time-consuming cases coming up, or will you be able to devote the majority of your energy to this case?

--Will you handle my case exclusively or will an associate work on it as well? If so, when can I meet with them and what is their relevant experience?

--What are your fees? Your hourly billing rate? How do you expect to be paid? Do you charge a retainer? If yes, how much?

--What are your regular office hours and how best do I contact you?

Q. What is a divorce mediator and should I consider employing one?

A. Divorce mediators, usually lawyers or counselors, act as neutral intermediaries in an attempt to help spouses reach an accord over issues like child custody and separation of marital assets without a trip to the courtroom. They will explain applicable divorce laws to each spouse.

Q. How do I tell my children?

A. Honesty is the best policy when approaching the subject of divorce with children. They don't need to be privy to all the intimate details of the situation, but they do need to have the situation explained to them in direct yet gentle terms. If your children are older, they are probably very aware already that their parents are unhappy together, even if you have done your best to conceal the strife from their eyes and ears. Young children, however, are apt to be very taken aback and confused by this news, so employ as much patience and tact as possible.

Children will benefit from continual reassurance that they are not at all to blame for any of their parents disagreements and that both their parents still love them and want to be there for them.

Q. What happens after the divorce?

A. Everyone will handle life following a divorce differently, depending on their personality and mindset, the circumstances of the divorce, and whether or not the decision was mutual and expected or sudden and unforeseen. You may feel depressed, angry, or deeply relieved.

Avoid situations or circumstances that may be painful for you, but without sheltering yourself from living your life or doing the things you want. Meet different people, make time for yourself to keep stress and anxiety levels in check, and learn to do something new and interesting.

Remember that in life, every experience can be an opportunity to grow wiser and stronger.