When you break up with someone you love, and it's the other person who decided that it was time to end the relationship, you can be pretty seriously broken up about it. Luckily, life doesn't have to end without your ex, and honestly it doesn't even have to BE without your ex!

Yeah, you read it correctly...you can get your ex back and go on with life stronger than ever before! What's even better, I'm going to tell you 4 solid, real-life things that you can do to get started right now!

1) Don't let life pass you by, get up and enjoy yourself a bit! Going out with friends is a great way to bypass a lot of the hurt you're feeling and start on a healthy road to getting your life back on track. Even if you don't feel like it, stay socially active and surround yourself with people who care about you!

You may be wondering how this helps to get your ex back...and that's a fair question. See, there's more to getting your ex back than just endless apologies and promises...your ex wants to see some change in you, some strength that wasn't there before. Not allowing yourself to be stricken helpless by your loss is a great way to stand up and show everyone (including yourself) that you're a better and stronger person than you know. What's more, this can attract some more attention from the opposite sex, which fires up that whole "hey, maybe I made a mistake here, look at all the people interested in him(her?)."

2) Look back over your past relationships, focusing on the most recent. It may be painful or seem like it's no use, but you have to do this if you plan on actually getting back your ex effectively. You have to come up with a clear understanding of the things you did in your past relationships that helped cause them to fail. You can't get past your mistakes if you keep making them.

And don't be naive, some of the problems ARE going to be of your own doing. You may not like to hear that, but it's likely true. Remember, your ex dumped you, not the other way around. That means that his or her needs weren't being met, whether that means you weren't being emotionally supportive enough or that you were too controlling and bossy. Whatever problems you're responsible for, work on fixing yourself so that you don't cause them anymore. Even if it doesn't land you a new start with your ex, it'll make your future relationships a lot better.

3) Don't let yourself slip on the side of physical appearance and hygiene. When people fall to pieces over a breakup and spend their days slumped in their sofas sobbing into a gallon-bucket of ice cream, it tends to show on their midsections...and that's not attractive, and not likely to get your ex back. Keep in shape, at least as good as you were when you broke up. It's far more appealing than the alternative.

4) Last but not least, my most important item of advice: leave your ex alone! Being up in your ex's face all the time is partially what caused him or her to leave you, most likely. Now that the pain of the breakup is on his or her shoulders too, any added tension or stress associated with you will drive your ex even further away, even to the point of being unreachable. Keep back until the point where you've made a lot of progress on your issues, and it becomes appropriate to make contact again.

When you do make contact, keep it light. A simple phone call about his or her well-being is sufficient -NO TALK ABOUT FEELINGS OR GETTING BACK TOGETHER-. Your ex doesn't want to hear about "the two of you". Simple consideration is all you want here. LATER you can get into a little bit more contact, until eventually you start spending a little time together again.

When you get to this stage, you want to make sure that you keep it light and simple. Again, no "feelings" talk. Just do things that the two of you used to really enjoy together, and it'll bring back happy memories. Bring back enough happy memories, and let it show enough that you've been working hard on your flaws and keeping yourself together, and you just may spark enough interest to inspire your ex to want to stop being an "ex" anymore.

I can't guarantee your specific situation will fit easily into the space I've mapped out for it, but that's going to happen when every relationship is made up of two completely unique people...but I can tell you that these guidelines I've given you will help you in any situation. At least keep them in mind as a way of thinking, and you'll have a much better chance of getting your ex back.